An example of the kind of conversation that can be heard over breakfast in a beachside cafe.
Cast: One Cockney couple. One Geordie couple. One eavesdropping Yorkshirewoman trying to read John Le Carre.
Cockney man: Do you know what time it is?
Geordie couple (man), in Geordie accent: 11.30
Cockney man: Are you from Newcastle?
Geordie couple: Aye not far.
Cockney man: I was there six months ago.
Geordie man: Oh?
Cockney man: My mother's a Geordie. She's from Consett. Do you live near Consett?
Geordie woman: Oh, about twenty-five minutes away.
Geordie man: No, about half an hour.
Geordie woman: I used to live in Consett.
Cockney man: Did you? The names in my family are Wilson and Thwaites.
Geordie woman: Thwaites?
Cockney man: Thwaites.
Geordie man: No, don't know them.
[Repeat for half an hour with increasing inanity]
Eavesdropping Yorkshire woman [sotto voce]: Christ!
Yorkshirewoman and book exeunt.
The end.