I was just now sitting in the delightful rooftop Harbour View cafe, which has a view of the harbour so should be at peace with the Advertising Standards Authority, when on the ocean-front road below, a truckload of Santas drove past. A truckload. I know I was drinking my first beer (or any alcohol) for a week, but it was definitely at least fifty brown people in Santa costumes in an open truck.
It reminded me that I had copied this from the Times of India this morning, a long time ago before I was told everything there is to know about the air hostess training industry in India (sometimes I have to take a detour from shit) from a beautiful Sikh with no sense of humour. More anon. More importantly and equally copyright infringingly (infringeingly?), the Times:
Event managers have crafted a training programme where Santas are taught how to live out the kids' dreams. “Santa must be a happy fellow with a spring in his step and a loud hearty voice,” says X. “It is not possible to get a fair-skinned person always because we are after all in India, not the North Pole. So we lighten the skin with make-up. But children do not expect dark-skinned Santas either.”
A mall has installed a 14 foot Santa hut. The entire exercise has been outsourced to professionals from Cookie Man, the Australian cookie company that doubles up as Santa supplier during the festive season. The Chennai HQ of Cookie Man handpick the best men fro their upmarket clients. “We select Anglo-Indians in their mid-30s or 40s because they are familiar with the spirit of Christmas as well as the rituals. We also take care to do a thorough background check because their job involves close interaction with children.” Danny, who is resident Father Christmas at Inorbit Mall these days has learnt the art six years into the profession. He takes the aeroplane from Chennai and mounts the sleigh waiting for him in a crowded supermarket.”
Sleigh? What's wrong with a truck?